How I treat myself

I have this thing about how we treat people…how we ALL treat one another..but..I can only control myself…so that is what I focus on.

For example…if a friend was visiting at my home..and I wanted her to do something for me…hand me something..move something…take out the garbage..ANYTHING…I would likely say “Would you mind taking out the garbage for me?” or “Can you please take out the garbage?”
So…why on earth would I say to my child, one of the human beings that I care most about on this planet…why on earth would I say to them “Go take out the garbage.”

Well…I don’t…I wouldn’t…at least…not until the third time I have to say it (they usually don’t move until I am screaming and steam is shooting out of my ears….which is why, more than likely, people do not speak to their children in the same way they speak to their friends!).

But that’s just one example...

Another illustration using my children.... because they are often the source of my frustrations…

I was picking up my son from school the other day…and..as I was approaching the school I was already getting upset with him…recalling our conversation of the morning…but then I thought…STOP….if I were picking up my NIECE right now…EVEN if she had irritated me the last time we were together….how would I greet her?

So when he entered the car, I smiled and said “How was your day honey?”

Then….I am active on several forums…support groups…and the way we talk to one another there….we are so so kind…so supportive..so helpful to one another.

But then

Look at the way we talk about ourselves …I am so stupid…weak…hate myself....beyond help

When someone ELSE posts that…we encourage them…tell them it’s not true…try to lift them….but when it’s us???

Why are we not kinder to ourselves?

The next time that I am feeling angry or anxious or worried or inadequate….I will talk to myself….as if I were talking to you :)