Counselling

I started seeing a therapist in 2002, right after the sh*t hit the fan at my house.

I haven't seen her continuously since then...but it sure does help me when things aren't going smoothly....

this family counselling is a whole different deal.

when I go to my individual session...it's all about me...what's going on with me....working through my issues...my feelings.

the family thing has been amazing.

we've had four sessions.

the first couple were difficult....a lot of anger from everyone.

but AFTERWARDS....things at home were much better.
The counsellor had suggested that each of us identify something that we could work on that would improve things...and each of us did.....and we did those things....

for about two days :)

then we all went back to being angry and difficult to get along with.

during those visits...we all said things that we've said before...the difference is...we were actually LISTENING to one another.

that's hard to do when you're hurting.

and we're all hurting.

but when we're there.....it's 'moderated'....we each get a turn....and we listen.

the kids hate it.

they keep saying 'we don't need to go there'

but this week my oldest said 'I do think it's helping us, but I still hate to come here' :)

so the third week we went....we were all VERY angry......and the possibility of us fixing things between us seemed unlikely....
but
I mentioned that after the two previous visits we DID get along much better, even if only for a short time.

so the counsellor recommended that THIS week....we should all commit work on OUR 'thing' regardless of whether or not anyone else did.

boy did that make a difference.

we had the best week last week.

so our counselling session wasn't nearly as painful.....
and the difference in 'us' the following day wasn't obvious.

the events that brought us here have caused me pain that is still too fresh for me to say that I'm 'thankful' for them....
but some of the changes that have taken place because of those events are good ones.

already I can see 'purpose' in all of it.

and I know
that someday
when the pain is not so fresh...
and we have moved on to other things...
and all of this is a distant memory...

We'll all be able to say that it was 'good' that it all happened...

and while that knowledge does comfort me somewhat...it doesn't make it all go away.

and that's OK.

I'll just keep on doing the tasks that are immediately before me.
and live this day.

x