Time

Geez, I struggle with that.

Never enough.

It's funny because when someone who has been spending every spare moment gambling, suddenly tries to stop... there is a vacuum.  There is now time with nothing to put in it.

That makes it really difficult to stop gambling.

So people who are trying to abstain start looking for other things to do with their time. 
I can remember googling 'things to do when you're bored' and the like.

As I write this, it is clear to me why people must stay active in recovery in order to maintain sobriety...because.... I have been to some really awful (inner) places due to gambling.... and now... with distance.... the memories are somewhat vague and there might even SOMETIMES be a little part of me that thinks (to the gambler who still suffers) "just stop!" 

ha... but the bigger part of me knows it isn't just that easy.  My recall isn't THAT bad.

ANYWAY....

I was talking to my son yesterday about Greek mythology, which, I think was one of the ONLY things that he actually paid attention to in school.... and I was expressing regret.... or... the fact that I have so many interests... so much that I would love to do (and learn)

and I am young (I am going to keep saying that to you in an effort to convince us both).... unless there is some terrible accident, I am likely to live many more years.,.,, but I realize, with some sadness, that there is more on my "TO DO LIST OF LIFE" than I will be able to accomplish before my time here is done.

that makes me want to get busy.

but I'm already TOOO busy!  that's what I'm always complaining about.
no down-time.

I don't know what the answer is.
but honestly... I'm not really THAT upset about the 'problem' (ha! we know what REAL problems look like!)
For now.... my life is pretty damn good.
I'm happy.
I'm healthy.

I'm just going to be joyous in the moment.

Because things will change.
Of this we can all be sure.

If you are sad...delight in the fact that things will change.
If you are happy...delight.... because the fact is... things will change.

have a great day.
take care of you.

you deserve your life...
know that.
OWN IT!!!!!

love,
peg