Whether you think you can or you think you can't.....

So this post really isn't about gambling.
Or not gambling.

It's about how something can seem impossible.
Or... maybe it's possible for SOME people... but it isn't possible for ME.

And then....it IS happening.

Now sometimes that is because...well... things just happen.

But for other things.... it takes effort.

Hard work, determination, change.

And it's HARD to suffer... to work really hard... to sacrifice.......when you reallyyyy don't think a thing is achievable.

It's much easier to accept that you cannot reach your goal and stop trying.

But.
what.
the.
hell?????

I've got ONE life.

At least, as far as I know I only get one shot at this.

This is it.

One day I will be gone.
It'll all be over.

I look around me and I see all sorts of remarkable stories about people who have achieved unthinkable things.

Why.
not.
me?

They SAY... that what those people have in common is that they BELIEVED that they could.  They KNEW it...

"Whether you think you can or you think you can't--you're right." -- Henry Ford

I guess when people 'think they can' they don't stop trying.

*I* think... that you only have to think it's POSSIBLE... and NEVER STOP TRYING.



When I look back at my life... especially at the time when I was so lost in despair at what I'd done to myself and my family through gambling that I was planning how to end it all.... I never could have imagined where I'd be right now.

It's ridiculous really, that I would be here.

And I'm not where I WANT To be, by any means.... but I won't stop trying :)



So I'll share...

I live in Louisiana, and about a year and a half ago, I found myself on the set of a tv show as an extra (long synchronistic story)... and I had a great time.

I did that a few times.  I LOVED it.  People get paid to be here?  The energy... well.. it's hard to describe what, exactly, the pull is... but i LOVED being there.  And wanted to do it all of the time.

But being an 'extra' wasn't that great sometimes.

And there are actors with minor roles... you know.. the lady in the parking lot, or the nurse who has a few lines....

I don't want to be a movie-star... but I'd LOVE to have small roles here and there... to do it on a regular basis.

So I started taking acting classes.

Most of the people in the classes are in their early 20's and plan to move to Hollywood at some point.

Me, I like my life.
I'm staying put... and like I said... I don't ever want people to know my name or ask for an autograph.

And I'm discovering lots of things about myself.

My current mantra is 'If I'm afraid to do it, then I must.'

So I don't know if it's gonna happen.
I imagine most people think I'm having a mid-life crisis.  Most women my age that are doing this have been acting in theater, or working toward this for many years.

But I am not gonna stop trying.
I'm not.

So for the past year and half, I have been in one acting class or another.  I've got a private coach that I work with weekly.  I have signed with an agent and a manager... have auditioned for quite a few really cool shows/movies (not booking any, mind you)... but this week I am working on a pretty big local commercial.  Lots of people auditioned for this role in several states... and I booked it.

It's weird tho.
When I DON'T book... I feel like I just missed out on a great opportunity... but then when I DO book, I feel like it isn't THAT big of a deal.

That's sort of twisted.
Yeah... learning lots about myself.

Anyway.... it is unTHINKable that people will be making a COMMISSION off of MY ACTING work?  what?

When I signed with my agent, my paperwork had instructions to mail in three self-address stamped envelopes so that they could use them to forward my checks.

I did not do that.
Because it seemed ridiculous that they would ever forward me a check.

So even though I didn't BELIEVE it was going to happen... I thought it COULD... and I never stopped trying.


So now... I need to get those SASE in the mail to the agency :)


Even if you think you can't.
Know that it MIGHT be possible.

And never stop trying to stop.

You are sooooo worth it.

It's YOUR life.

You only get one.

So far as I know.

xo

Love,
Peg