shedding a few pounds

A few months ago I decided to give myself a gift.

It's been five years since we lost the baby and I haven't lost the weight.
I just couldn't.

not that I couldn't LOSE it.
I couldn't even TRY.

putting forth the effort to lose it...well...first I had to acknowledge that it was there.
and i didn't want to think about it.....not the weight...but the baby.

Funny...I really don't SEE it.
I look in the mirror...and I see the 'skinny' me.
not really sure if that's a blessing or not.

but in photos....it cannot be denied.

and I guess....due to age....metabolism changing....I'd begun to put on even more.

until one day i decided that enough is enough.

I googled 'weight watchers' and attended my first (and only) meeting a few months ago.

it was great.

the meeting.

some of things that i heard were familiar to me:

'read the material!'
'keep coming back'
'nothing changes if nothing changes'

and THAT is the bottom line, isn't it?

it's not just gambling, it's not just weight loss....in every part of life....if there is no change...well...there is no change.

they talked about how important AWARENESS is.....but they were mostly talking about staying aware of how you feel regarding hunger.

I became aware of other things.....

I discovered that...when I look at a menu, the only thing on my mind is "what is the most delicious thing here?"

and that i often put food into my mouth without giving it any thought at all.

that EVERY meal I eat doesn't have to be the BEST meal I've ever had!

the point system really works for me (I'm a plan girl...gimme a set of instructions and I can follow them!)...because there's NOTHING that I simply CANNOT have.....I can have a little bit of anything I want...and still be successful.

so I'm five pounds more than I was when I got married (nearly 19 years ago).
10 pounds more than I weighed in high school (over 25 years ago)...ugh

I'm never gonna have my 20 year old body back....but already there is a difference...not just in my body...but in ME.

I mean...the way I FEEL about me.

You know...that feeling you have when everything you're wearing is new? not a stiff...i hate these clothes new.....but...this is the coolest outfit I've ever had kinda new?

I attended a birthday lunch for a friend last Friday...and the card I gave her wished her a 'wind in your hair, full tank of gas, favorite song on the radio kind of day'.

THAT's what I'm talking about :)