Monday, June 1, 2009

Who our real friends are.

So a few months ago my son had a fight at school. There is a zero tolerance policy so he was suspended for a few days.

The day that he was to return to school, he had to be accompanied by a parent.....we met with the disciplinarian.

My son had been bullied by an older kid and he'd finally had enough....but the school has zero tolerance for bullying too.....the disciplinarian was explaining that 'they' can't correct the problem unless they KNOW about gotta tell.

fat chance.


this guy was great....he was talking to my son about how often your so-called 'friends' can get you into trouble.....when another kid mouths off at you for instance, and your buddies say things like "are you gonna let him talk to you that way? what are you gonna do about?"

the disciplinarian said "those guys don't care about you...they are not your friends"

then he asks my son "do you have friends here?"
my son says yes.
"No you don't" says the disciplinarian.

My son is confused....of course he has friends....and he says so.


"You don't"

"Look to your right."

My son looks at me.

"THAT is your friend. The people you are with here at school are your acquantances.....ten years from now you won't even remember most of their names....THEY don't care about you....THAT lady right there...SHE is your need to remember that."

I thought it was pretty powerful.

when we walked out of his office, my son looks at me, confused...and said "that was stupid"


oh well....

honestly....our relationship has improved a great deal since that day....maybe some of it did sink in.

my point is....

we ALL need to keep that in perspective.

who our REAL friends are.
not people we just spend time with...or work with....or even hang out with in our free time....but our FRIENDS.

people who would care for us if we were ill......

we need to really cultivate those relationships.
they are the important ones.

and if we can't think of who they are....
if there is no one.....
we need to go about the business of creating them.....
real relationships.....

alone is too lonely.

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