Saturday, November 1, 2014

When we seek help

Just an observation...

people who are trying to stay gamble free do not tend to fill the rooms of g.a. just before a holiday, anticipating that they may need the strength to get through it.

they may even, in large numbers, start feeling a 'pull', and thinking about what's coming (gambling).

but the rooms tend to have a lot more people in them just AFTER a holiday.

or on Mondays rather than Fridays.

Why do we not seek help/strength BEFORE we hurt ourselves?

Because we don't want anything to 'get in our way'.

We show up AFTER we have done the damage.
We show up in tears, in shambles... in shame.

It's a brain game.

And if you don't want to call it a disease or an illness...
frankly that's OK with me...

but SOMETHING in our brain is COMPELLED to keep us in it...

and something ELSE in our brain... knows that we must STOP... and we must do everything we can to empower THIS thing... to help it get stronger... to make it grow... so that it can SHUT DOWN that other part.

the most IMPORTANT thing to do is to NOT GAMBLE.

I could NOT have stopped if I'd had access to money.

But I made the decision to give that up.

and sometimes I'd find ways to get money anyway.

and I'd gamble.

then... in the aftermath... I would 'fix' that back-door so I couldn't do that again.

then I'd find another way.
and I'd gamble.

and I'd figure out a way to prevent myself from doing THAT again.

It's about doing whatever is necessary to take care of yourself...when you can... when you have a moment of strength... take steps to protect yourself FROM YOURSELF when you are in a place where you will do whatever you can to gamble.

You are worth it.
You deserve your life.
I don't mean... you deserve the crap that you might be living through right now...

I mean... you deserve to live a wonderful life... so go make that.

Take care of you,


Anonymous said...

Thanks, Peg. I needed to read these words today. Seven months, and I feel my resolve slipping. I'll get myself to a meeting tonight.

Anonymous said...

Im a slot machine gambler and i dont kmow how