not hopeless

It was a busy week.

I love spending time with family.

I was talking with a family friend this week....her husband has a gambling problem....and I was remembering how I was 'back then'.....

I was thinking about how....at family functions I would be a nervous wreck....trying to think of any reason...any excuse I could use to sneak out for a while....I couldn't sit still...I couldn't enjoy myself....I couldn't enjoy THEM (my family)....I needed a 'fix'.

I don't ever want to be there again....I don't want to lose myself in the addiction...and I don't want to have to struggle (it was so so so hard) to break free of it's hold on me.

I never thought I'd be OK again.
I know people who I thought would NEVER be able to stop....who are celebrating significant milestones (many months....even years)....
We may look hopeless...we may FEEL hopeless....but there really IS a way out.
I would never have believed it.....but there is.

grateful today that I found mine.

now...back to work (ugh!)