Crying over nothing

Maybe it's just me....

I wanna cry...feel all of these tears inside of me...but I hold them in.

HAVE to hold them in.

My life is pretty good...my husband would be confused and worred...'what is making you cry?' "What is WRONG???"

The thing is....lots of things could potentially make me cry...breaking an arm, for instance, that'd make me cry....and even things that don't hurt me PHYSICALLY....like...when a lover moves on....or you broke some precious item that a much loved relative passed down to you that can never be replaced...

yep...there are lots of reasons to cry.

but what about those times....when there really isn't a 'thing'...nothing big enough to cry over, anyhow....maybe someone says something ugly....and you let it go.......then you drop the spahetti as you're putting it into the refrigerator...yeah...a mess....but again, nothing to CRY over....but when these things just keep coming and coming and coming....and to try to SHARE them with someone seems ridiculous....

can you imagine...

sobbing.....barely speaking through tears....and he said that *I* would have to drive the kids to the party and then I dropped the spaghetti and then and then.

cmon.

it's not something you can share...because it's nothingness.
it's all of the nothingness that isn't worthy of a tear....but it builds....and it builds until what is needed is a good cry.

I can't think of any other way to alleviate it.

The house is empty now, so I can do it without having to attempt to explain....and without worrying anyone too much.

I'll be OK.
Really.
It's just nothingness that's been building.