resentment...planned response

I was talking to a friend the other night about how sometimes...if I am feeling nervous or insecure...that PRETENDING that I am confident can often lead to actually FEELING that way.

I learned that in high school.

In speech class.

Those kids would get up there...practically shaking...stuttering....and I understood.

But i didn't want to look that way.

I *FELT* it...but I PRETENDED I didn't....so I LOOKED confident...which GAVE me confidence.

so my friend sort of used this technique in an uncomfortable situation....and it helped.

My friend also had a 'prepared response'.....in the event someone said something that might've been awkward.

Having a 'planned response' helps me too.

not just when I'm uncomfortable or nervous.

It helps me with resentments.

I have this situation.

this person who often makes comments to me that really p*ss me off.

so a few months ago...I thought about a response....not a mean, ugly, hateful response....not even something to 'put her in her place'....just....to say "I understand that you feel this way but I prefer not to hear about it any more. It upsets me when you say these things."

so I even sort of practiced in my mind....so that it wouldn't come out sounding 'ugly'.

and then

lol

I didn't even 'get' to say it!...this person hasn't DONE it since I planned my response....

which....is ok.

great even.

I mean....the whole point is....I didn't want to hear it any more.

and

while being able to actually SAY my 'planned response' would've been ok.

it's really sort of better that I haven't had to.

Just HAVING one made me feel better.

Unexpectedly....it made the resentment go away even.

and now that the resentment is gone.....if I ever DO need to say this....it will not SOUND ugly...because I don't FEEL any anger over it.

lol
it worked even better than a step four actually :)

take care of you,
Love,
Peg