another year

last year at this time I decided to stop smoking.

I did great.

for a while....until something stressed me out.

then I stopped again.

until the next crisis came along.

stop start stop start stop start

really...it's excuses...those painful or stressful events are just 'excuses' for me to do what I want to do..."I am hurting so I need it" or deserve it or whatever.

same thing I did with regards to gambling.
addiction is addiction is addiction.

I am currently smoking.
I know I need to stop.
and I know I WON'T stop until I REALLY decide that I'm done.
and I'm not sure that I AM done just yet.
but....I'll never stop trying to stop.

Have a Happy New Year