Monday, March 16, 2009

Tough Love in Recovery

I am sometimes perturbed by the hard-line approach that some people take towards others' recoveries.

For some reason I've been thinking about that recently...and remembering, back in 2002, at my first therapist appointment, when she said to me, something like "I will never reprimand you for a slip...or for anything that you might do...if you feel that is something that you need, I could recommend some other therapists."

It didn't really mean much to me at the time.I knew I DIDN'T need that....I am hard enough on myself.
I still see her regularly :)

often...when people are rebuked for giving 'tough love'....I hear them say that that is what THEY got and that it is what FINALLY helped THEM.
even tho it may appear harsh to me (and it does)....I'm going to assume that those 'tough love' guys are attempting to pass on the gift that was freely given to them.

the problem (as I see it) that....while tough love may be exactly what some people is NOT what ALL of us need....and can even be harmful to some of our recoveries.

I, too, tend to offer those still suffering, exactly what helped me (what else do I know to do??)...and those tough love guys will sometimes say 'you're not helping them like that blah blah blah'.

bottom line is....we ARE all different....our lives are different...our personalities differ...and it makes sense that our recoveries will also differ greatly.

today.....takin' what I need and leavin' the rest.

(((to all who still suffer))))

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