Getting the Life I Want

So…

I’m not gambling.

But….is this the life I want?

Life is good.

But there are some things that really make me miserable….things that I have control over…yet I do nothing about.

For instance...
I keep saying that I have all of these things to do…around the house….

I am not responsible and I am not organized and…I have too much stuff.

I have too much stuff because I buy things compulsively….and I am not organized.

Since I’m not organized, I buy things I don’t need.

Annnnnddddd

I have a problem throwing things away.

I’m not sure why that is…

I have 4 bottles of cinnamon spice – because I’m not organized…so every time I need cinnamon, I don’t know if I have any and I buy more.

Some of the things that I have…I bought because they were on sale…a bargain…yes….so it’s in the pantry…and I don’t use it…and I don’t use it…and every time (rarely) I organize the pantry…I check the expiration date…and place it back on the shelf.

I keep it…and I am pretty sure…I am almost POSITIVE that I will never use it…but since I spent the money on it…I keep it.

Socks..OMG..the socks…I have a basket with all of the single socks (tons of them) and I won’t discard them….because I KNOW as soon as I do, the other sock will show up…

WHAT? Obviously no one is WEARING these unmatched socks…obviously..we have OTHER socks…

It’s more than that…it’s shoes, handbags, clothing..things I will never ever use again… I keep them because I THINK I may..but..deep down…I know that I will not.

So today…I decided that….I have to make a change….because if I simply organize things….that’s a temporary fix.

There really is no need for all of this stuff….it does not bring me pleasure…as a matter of fact…it often distresses me…there is clutter because the storage is full…and the storage is full of things I don’t want or need.

So today…I came up with a new strategy for cleaning out my storage….

If I keep it….can I use it in the next few weeks?
If I were moving…would I bother to move it?
If I were to discard it…would it inconvenience me at a later date??? Will I NEED this thing?
If so, is it easily replacable?
Will it cost more than a few dollars to replace?
Is it something that I love?

It really puts things in a whole new light….and right now…my pantry is less cluttered than maybe it’s ever been….

The basket of socks…is in the garbage….

And…while it’s a little bit difficult to place something in the ‘trash pile’…once the trash is gone….it feels GOOD….

It almost feels like a punishment…having to do it….I hate it…
But

Afterwards….gifting myself..a living space that is neat and organized….it is so worth it.

It's NOT about...'shame on me' for not being responsible, not being organized...it's NOT about...what I should be doing and am not...it's about...

WHAT DO I WANT FOR MY LIFE??
and how do I make that happen?

Sometimes I have to do things that I don’t want to do….but…right now…I am closer to the life that I want than I was yesterday.

I will only have the life I dream of….if I make it happen.