Life is not Fair - Our stories

I used to think that life wasn’t fair….not just to ME..but in general.

But…to me, too.

My life seems to be feast or famine…either my world is wonderful and beautiful…or everything..EVERYTHING is going wrong.

Regardless of where I am at any given time….I can see the unfairness of it all…when my life is full of love and joy..and I know that others suffer…or are alone….or when my life is falling apart and everyone else seems to be happy…

When I first found safe harbor chat room I spent an average of 16 hours a day there…for MONTHS I did that (it’s hard to gamble when you spend all of your time talking about not gambling)…and one of the many things that I learned there is…everyone has a story.

Everyone does.
We ALL have pain.

Not just compulsive gamblers (or addicts, in general)…but EVERYONE.

We do seem to be exceptionally sensitive, though.

Not necessarily in a ‘poor me’ sort of way (although that is sometimes the case)…but…in a broken heart sort of way.

It made me start looking at everyone differently….the check-out girl at the grocery….the guy in the car next to me at the red-light…ALL of us have experienced pain…we have our stories.

One of the things that I have seen repeatedly is the RELIEF that we find…when we find a safe place to share…to tell our stories…..to get it out…over and over again, I hear people say how GOOD it feels to finally SAY it.

There is power in telling our stories…I’m not sure how or why it works…but I have found that…with regards to the events in my life that have caused me great pain…if I tell it, and tell it and tell it…eventually it doesn’t HURT so much to tell it…and if I keep on telling it and telling it….I eventually get to the point where I don’t NEED to tell it anymore….it loses it’s power.

My stories will always be a part of who I am….they led me here…to the place that I am today…to the woman that I have become…and I will always have the memories…but it isn’t necessary for me to suffer always…it isn’t DESIRABLE to suffer always.

I have told bits and pieces of my story…here and there…but I think I am going to start writing…from the beginning…tell it all, yet again.

If you haven’t told your story…or…even if you HAVE told your story…but are still hurting…tell it again.

Find a safe place….a face to face support group, a therapist, an online group, an e-mail buddy…ME…SOMEONE....but tell it…and when you do…let it hurt…if you begin to feel angry…FEEL angry…talk about the anger…or the sadness…WHATEVER you feel….scream, cry, speak, write….tell it.

Tell it…until you don’t feel the need to tell it any more.