Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Carry this message

A little better today.

A 'quiet storm' is what one friend called it.

I don't talk about it much...but I guess if I were to call it would be a 'dark'


it's more than a mood.

period maybe. spell.'s beginning to lift.

I don't think 'normal' people get that....not like THAT.

I think most of 'us' do.

I think that maybe I learned something tho ---- something about me --- about 'us'.

You know...I am almost always 'up' these in my 'mood'.

Well...I have two friends that have really been 'there' for me these past few days...making every effort to make me feel that I am not alone.

They do this because...well..because they are my friends, but also because...they 'get' it.

so they have been...ummm...trying to 'lift my spirits'.

hasn't helped me really...but I have seen a change in both of THEM.
both of THEM seem hmmmm somewhat 'lifted'.

and it occurs to me...

I spend a lot of time talking to others...'lifting' them, if you will, and you know....

I've always said that 'its hard to gamble when you spend all of your time talking about not gambling'.

I'm now beginning to think that....'its hard to be 'down' when you spend all of your time telling others that 'things can be ok'...that 'life can be good'....'

This reminds me of something that I heard or read somewhere...that when an alcoholic thinks he needs a drink...what he really needs is another alcoholic.

I was just looking in the Big Book of AA (the basis of all 12 step programs) try to find this...and

Right...I know...I'm not an alcoholic....
a g.a. old-timer once gave me this book and said 'read this....anywhere it says alcohol, mentally substitue the word gambling'

it is remarkably like 'us' least it is remarkably like ME.

anyway....of course, I couldn't find it....but there are many places that say exactly that...for the FOREWARD "It also indicated that strenuous work, one alcoholic with another, was vital to permanent recovery.'

'permanent recovery'

i like the sound of that.

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