Friday, October 10, 2008

Be a Voice for Recovery

A woman posted recently on one of the forums I read.
She doensn't work any 12 step program...has abstained from gambling for over 10 years.
She lives near me evidently...during the evacuation for hurricane Ike....she justified it.....and began gambling again.

It upset I was talking to my friend...who said..."yes...but she's OUT there...and no oen even many people who are OUT there...NOT gambling...and are NOT logging in to tell us they've slipped because they HAVEN'T?"

good point.

Now....some would say..'if she had been working the program she wouldn't have slipped.'


problem is...'working the program' is REALLY something that you do in your heart.

No one can look at you, and by your deeds, know whether or not you are 'working your program'

often...people slip...and only THEN do they ackowledge "well...I WAS going to meetings, and I WAS talking to my sponsor but I WASN"T doing this or that"

they THOUGHT they were safe....but they obviously weren't doing SOMETHING tht needed to be done.

so when g.a. look as someone like this woman, with ten years abstinence...and say 'you should've been working the program (ie attending g.a.)
I sort of think that's b.s.

I mean...maybe she should've been....
but....attending g.a. is NOT necessarily gonna keep you free.

I know many people who attend ga and are never able to BREAK free...and many who HAVE broken free.....who break abstinence also.

Certainly....there are things that we must do.

This woman, like me, rerturned to gambling when she was in pain, or fearful.


the point of this not to debate whether or not g.a. is necessary to maintain long term abstinence.

The to say that people ARE doing so.

Maybe because they cannot get beyond the 'God' thing.
Maybe because they have had bad experience with people at their local g.a. meetings.
I imagine there are many reasons for a person to not attend g.a.
Many of us cannot stop gambling without it.

But some do.

Most of the people that I know, who are free for a long period of time....are active in g.a.

That used to make me think that I'd have to remain active in g.a. if I ever wanted to 'be free for a long time (ie forever)'

But i've met many 'alcoholics' who are free from their addiction who do not attend AA.

I imagine there are many of us as well.

Some of the folks that I've met in G.A. truly seem to be living the program to the best of their ability.....working to be more honest, accepting, humble.

but not too many.

and personally, I don't want to be tht tied up in an ORGANIZATION.

I dont wanno go to christmas parties and picnics.
they're GREAT...for those who want them....I just don't.

I don't want g.a. to be my LIFE.

I draw a lot from what they teach......but much of that is found elsewhere christian teachings, buddhism, much of this stuff is ancient wisdom....about how to live....and be happy.


One of the things that G.A. members do that I *DO* step 12 work....'reaching out to help the compulsive gambler who still suffers'.

One of the things that would be me, for if people who were able to break free some OTHER way would make themselves share how they did it.....and to offer hope to those that are struggling.

I hope that....even if I ever DO get to a place where I feel I COULD just walk away from it all and never look back.....that I won't do that....not completely...

so that others may know...
you can be ok.


No comments: