Thursday, October 16, 2008

Write

So I woke up this morning feeling anxious.

I only slept a few hours...it was that feeling..where...nothing in particular was wrong..it just felt like....'all is not well'....like I needed to do 'something'..but having no idea what it is?

I mean....I've had things going on recently that have been bothersome...but I wasn't really fretting over any of that....I just had that fragmented feeling...like i'm not ok.

a few hours later my stomach began to hurt....is this making me physically ill or do i have a bug?

anyways....I have that 1:00 appointment...and usually, before I go...I sort of go through, in my head, what I will talk about.
well it's been AGES since I've seen her....and a lot to talk about....a lot going on right now.

a friend of mine suggested I write....get my thoughts together so that my meeting is 'productive'.
I've never done that before...our meetings just sort of...go wherever they need to go.

but this morning....I knew that this 'all is not well' fragmented feeling wasn't really rational.....so I decided to try something....

I wrote about my life in regards to:

Relationships
Finances
Home
Recovery
Responsibilities

I focused mainly on the problems in those areas.

Then I made a list of

Things that are good in my life

So there it was....all the yuck...and all the good stuff too....my life.

SO THENNNNNN

I wrote about

What I can change :)

then

What I must accept.

This is do-able.

It's amazing how much better I feel than I did just a few hours ago...I'm not 'all better'...but that's ok....I'm good...

We resist writing...or at least *I* do (ha! I blog--- I mean...I resist writing about my inner most feelings....or such things as the project I took on this morning) but.... it really can...this exercise helped me to 'see' my life....and sort of...helped me to focus...on what I need to do.

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