Tuesday, April 8, 2008

The Initial Pain

The pain –

Sometimes is physical pain
Sometimes is overwhelming responsibility
Sometimes is unhappiness in our current situation
Sometimes is grief
Sometimes is unresolved issues from our past
Sometimes is a spiritual malady
Sometimes is boredom or loneliness

Could be just a general dissatisfaction with our life.

And at some point…most likely for entertainment…we gambled…perhaps we won and experienced a wonderful high from it…or maybe we didn’t win…but just sitting there sort of put us in a trance….we were numb….and all of that ‘stuff’ – the pain…went away...even TIME went away!

Maybe we didn’t even REALIZE that at first…we just ‘liked’ to gamble. It was ‘fun’…and….we really NEEDED some ‘fun’…I mean….look at all of this PAIN that we have to contend with.

So we wanted to do it….more.

It escalated.

Eventually….we got concerned…we recognized that there was ‘a problem’…but we minimized how bad it really was….besides…we DESERVE to have SOME fun….and….at this point….gambling has become our ONLY source of ‘FUN’.

And now…here we are.

If you are a gambler of my type…abstinence is mandatory.
If I decide to gamble, I may be fine for a time, but sooner or later I will lose control and will end up back in desperation.

Gambling caused physical…chemical changes in the brain….it takes a while away from gambling..for all of that to get back to ‘normal’.

Since our normal was, at best, one of dissatisfaction…we might want to think about whether or not our normal (before we began self-medicating by gambling) was actually depressed or not? Anti-depressants are an individual choice but many of us were depressed before we became addicted..and the depression is exactly WHY we became addicted….If you suspect that you may be chemically depressed…seeking a medical consultation can be very helpful…..can be an aid in getting those chemicals in the brain back to ‘normal’.

Once we have found a way to break free from the cycle….we have to find a way to address whatever it was…most of us don't do that...because..we have a whole set of NEW problems....we now have the PAIN that GAMBLING has caused us....and we focus on fixing THAT stuff.

That's good. that stuff has got to be fixed.

But we also must find a way to address whatever it was that initally allowed the addiction to take hold....the INITIAL pain.

It’s not easy to do. At least..it’s not for US.

Some people seem to be able to deal with situations…like whatever is causing us pain, in much healthier ways than we are.

But feelings….emotions….most of us…well we DON’T deal with them…for whatever reason.

We have to learn.

No comments: