The most important people

I got an email the other day…from a friend…a compulsive gambler who freed himself from his own personal hell three years ago this week!

In this email…he is catching me up on his life…and says that he is ‘being responsible…with the important people….those who would sit with him if he were sick.’

Pretty powerful statement.

On a side note....
I am angry right now…..having some issues with someone that I love….not in my immediate family…but….it hit me…a few moments ago…that she is one of those people….she would be there for me….if I were sick.

A childhood friend called me last week…her husband has cancer. He will have chemo for the next eight months…she said….that caring for him is like taking care of someone with the flu….constantly trying to comfort…only…knowing it won’t be over in a few days or even a few weeks.

I have cared for a few people….my mother, my father in law…my husbands grandmother…helped them to die….

It was wonderful and terrible.

Mostly wonderful.

But I wouldn’t have known that….I wouldn’t have done that….had I not loved them.

I was at a party Saturday night and I met this woman….she was fabulous….and she talked of caring for her friend ‘Marie’…Marie had Alzheimer’s..and came to live with her because Marie’s son was unwilling or unable to care for her himself….and was going to put her into a home.

Marie was 90 years old when she came to live with this woman…and she died at 94.

How beautiful, I said…..that you cared for your friend…it must’ve been difficult.

In some ways it was, she said…but (and she smiled) I loved her very much.

And…I volunteer…in a nursing home…I visit a hospice patient…a woman in her 80’s who has dementia….and I can tell you….

Even when you don’t know who you are…..you know where you do not want to be…and no one in those places….even in the best of those places….wants to be there.

We want to be with people who LOVE us…people who care.

We NEED to be with people who LOVE us.

Some of us…know who those people are…the people who would sit with us if we were ill….who would care for us…if we were dying.

For most of us..those people are family.

But

It doesn’t have to be……

Everyone that we love…that loves us….is not RELATED to us….
If I were to fall ill today…the people who would care for me..were strangers to me 20 years ago…..

And…..if we don’t have these people in our lives…people that love us this much….or people that WE love…enough to do this for them…..

It seems to me..that we are neglecting…the most important things.

Be loveable.

Love.