Accept the things I cannot change...

So… I was talking to a friend the other day…about…detaching….about…not allowing what other people are saying or doing to affect us so much.

But you know…it strikes me that….that is what we SAY we want….but often…it’s not REALLY want we want.

What we REALLY want…..is for those other people to behave in the manner that we think they should behave.

At least…that’s what *I* want.


I don’t want my boys to fight amongst themselves….I don’t want my husband to be angry…I don’t want..blah blah blah

I don’t REALLY want those things to continue and *ME* to be OK with it (or be OK in spite of it).

I want THEM to behave the way that *I* want them to!

Come to think of it, I have ‘scripts’ for just about everyone in ‘my world’.

I know…how I want my boss to behave, my mother in law, my friends.

It makes perfect sense that that would be frustrating….I’m trying to CONTROL things that I have NO CONTROL over.

If we REALLY want peace…we have to learn how to ACCEPT the things we cannot change.

My having negative feelings about things that I have absolutely no control over…only punishes ME.

My negative feelings do not encourage others to change…it does not change anything at all…the ONLY thing that is accomplished…is I feel badly.

Once I REALLY understand this….the way that I THINK is changing….and that causes the way I FEEL to begin to change.


The only person, place or thing that I can control is me.

It’s almost a relief…once we ‘get’ that…

Because…most of us have our hands full trying to control ourselves….

at least *I* do.