Monday, January 14, 2008

Have a Plan

I neglected everything when I was gambling.

That's because...doing anything else...meant taking time away from IT...and I had progressed to the point that IT was all that I could think of....I was either DOING IT...or PLANNING to do IT....or attempting to recover from the latest crisis I had caused (by doing IT).

My WORLD revolved around IT.

I didn't do much housework....or shopping...I missed work a lot...and often I would leave work at lunchtime...then couldn't leave my machine...I wouldn't return to the office.
I stopped doing things with my friends....holidays were TORTURE....there was really no lie that I could sneak only hope was that other family members would, at some point, opt to go to the casino.

When I stopped gambling...I needed something to fill my time..I mean...that's how I spent ALL of my time...for a long long suddenly, my days were empty.

but the truth is....

there was PLENTY to be done.

there still is.

I just don't always want to DO those things.

I can recall....using gambling as a reward....'I will not gamble tomorrow until after I take care of my chores'.....but i didn't do that very often. Anything or anyone that got in the way of my gambling was a nuisance.
My husband was a nuisance. My children were a nuisance.

I was insane.


Here I am....I no longer gamble...I am free of the cycle...yet...I am still not taking care of things the way I should.

I want things to be done :)

I just don't want to do them.

Lists work for me.

They don't solve all of my problems...sometimes I ignore them...but....if I have a list...I am much more likely to take care of things than without a list at all.

I am committing, right now, to having a list...every day, Mon thru Friday....and following it to the best of my ability.

I can think of many things that should be on the list...but I will start off slowly...with some of the things that I know will help me in recovery but that I have a hard time committing to...I will enhance my list as I become more proficient at accomplishing my tasks.

Today's list consists of:

Make a list of the tasks/choresthat I MUST do today…and at least one thing that I SHOULD do…and do them.

In addition to those things...
Be grateful.
Stay in the moment.
Practice Awareness.

I need to become more organized.
I need to become more disciplined.
I need to take responsibility for my life.

I need a PLAN for my life...and for this day.

Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments.--Jim Rohn

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