Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Why I choose not to gamble...

If I gamble, my mind goes into a ‘zone’ where my money and my time are meaningless. I become sort of hypnotized…drugged (dopamine) and cannot stop gambling.

I will neglect my job, my friends, my family…I will miss appointments…I will be late for or miss anything that might be on my schedule.

I will avoid telling people what I am doing….which means that I will isolate, and lie.

I do not gamble to get money….that is one of the lies that this addiction tells me…to get me to feed it….the truth is…I gamble TO GAMBLE.

That is why…it doesn’t matter what the odds are…it doesn’t matter how lucky I am….it doesn’t matter if I win thousands of dollars….I will, sooner or later….end up penniless…because I am not gambling to get money…I just want to keep going and going and going and going.

If I win
I will stay to gamble more.
If I lose
I will stay to gamble more.

I must not play because when I do, I cannot stop.

To gamble…..lies, isolating, loss of priorities, damage relationships, have to do without things that I could otherwise easily afford (financially)…


I can live my life.

I deserve my life.
You deserve yours too.

It is not easy to break free from the cycle…it is d*mn hard…but it can be *IS* being done…

It is not easy,
But it is worth it.

YOU are worth it.
It may not seem like it sometimes….that it is possible….or that you are worthy…but it is true…both are true.

I promise.
Never stop trying to stop.
There is hope.

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