Another Rough Morning

*note -- I hesitate to post such personal 'junk'...but...just so ya know I'm human :)

Last night...I wrote a blog for today...I was doing some paperwork...getting things in order....feeling good about where I am...how I'm 'dealing'...

thennnnn

It was a rough morning…AGAIN.

The one area that I struggle with….my children.

At times, I know that I am a wonderful Mom…I do…but REPRIMANDING them causes me ..?discomfort.

I don’t have a problem punishing them…taking away privileges, for instance…but there are times…moments…when I just lose it.

A part of me knows that it’s NORMAL for teenagers to roll their eyes at their parents…and to tune us out completely…and even some sarcasm is ‘normal’….but I struggle with just letting it go….I’m a softy anyway…and they walk all over me….but occasionally, they REALLY make me angry….and I respond swiftly….and then regret it.

Both of them push my buttons...or at least TRY to...almost every morning...today...they were successful....

This morning one of my sons was complaining about how neglected he is..blah blah blah..and I pointed out to him that he doesn’t have new shoes (for gym class) because his father tried to take him shopping on half a dozen occasions..and he is always too tired or too busy or just doesn’t want to do it….and that his implications that it is somehow OUR fault that he doesn’t have new shoes (and pants that fit well) is not our

He cut me off…and said “OK Mom…ENOUGH”

Usually….I will stop there…because I can tend to go on and on and on

But…I was not finished…and I said so.

He said “Fine…I just won’t listen.”

I slapped him.

A part of me thinks…what else could I have done? It hardly seems sufficient to say “I’m taking away all electronics until further notice.” I mean…I do that when he doesn’t do his chores..or gets bad grades….but…to speak to me that way???

A part of me thinks…I should have just walked away.

The problem is…that would work with my HUSBAND…but…a TEENAGE boy?

They take that as a ‘win’….like I had just ‘let it go’.

So…..if I cannot come up with a better way of handling the situation….

Why do I feel so terrible about it?

This part of my life…is still very unmanageable.