Find your way to Happy

I see so many people who are abstinent, yet they still suffer.

Oh…many of us suffer for a long time after we stop gambling from the CONSEQUENCES of our gambling (debt, for example)…but…gambling ITSELF no longer causes me pain.

I used to think that…’recovery’ was somehow ‘dwelling’ on this addiction and would continue the suffering…keep me somehow… CONNECTED to this …suffering…and I just wanted to put it behind me….I don’t wanna be punished forever…attending meetings…reading literature…doing things DAILY about gambling.

I mean…if I am gonna be punished forever…if I am gonna suffer whether I gamble or not…why go thru all of the effort to stop…and stay stopped?

It is not NECESSARY to suffer always.

The thing is…for *ME*…and for many of the people that I’ve known who have relapsed…they are FINE….for a time…they wonder….how was I ever like that? I can’t believe I did all of those things when I gambled…blah blah blah..and they are FINE…

Until they’re not.

I was fine..until the CIRCUMSTANCES in my life began to overwhelm me…and when that happened…I KNEW where to find relief…I KNEW where to go..to get away from it all.

And that (gambling) worked….until it didn’t.

THIS time….I am aware that…yes, I am fine…and I really am…but I also know that if I don’t change ME…the way that I REACT to things…the way that I THINK about things…my COPING skills…my ability to RELAX…to CALM myself without introducing ARTIFICIAL means to do so….if I don’t make changes INSIDE of me..then the next time I get lonely, or stressed out or things start to fall apart … I will do the same things that I’ve ALWAYS done when I’ve felt lonely or stressed out..or when things fell apart.

I *NOW* know that…even though that (gambling) may sound reasonable….or even PLEASURABLE at the time….that the cost is far too high.

I’ve *ALSO* discovered..that…the THINGS that I am doing…’recovery’ related things…doesn’t have to FEEL bad.

As a matter of fact…the things that I am doing..that I am learning..are making my life SO much better…it is sort of EXCITING.

I have heard things all of my life….book titles…or sayings….things like “You have the power to change your life” or “The power of positive thinking” or “You can if you think you can” or “Stop Worrying and Stop Living” or “Don’t sweat the small stuff and it’s all small stuff” or “What to Say when you talk to Yourself” or “Success through a Positive Mental Attitude” or “Find Happiness from Within” or “You can Heal Your life” or “Change your thoughts; change your life” or that “You can Be whatever (or whoever) you CHOOSE to be”…

Those things….those things are FACTS….we don’t know it because we have never BELIEVED it….or INVESTIGATED the claims.

It sounds like pie in the sky…especially when we are at our lowest…when things seem so hopeless….when I was full of despair…if someone were to tell me to ‘look on the bright side’ or ‘count my blessings’ or that the things I was fretting about were ‘the small stuff’ well…it just wasn’t do-able…I could NOT do that…I could not IMAGINE a way that I could ever see a BRIGHT side….

But I do….there is one….

It doesn’t matter if it seems impossible.

TRY.

You are worth it.

Even if you don’t FEEL like you are worth it…even if you don’t THINK that you deserve to live a happy life….you ARE worth it..and you DO deserve to be happy.

TRY.