What matters?

If I sit down and think about it…REALLY think about what matters to me…my list would be quite long….and mostly filled with people.

And…hmmm... honor...making a difference in other people's lives...finding JOY....and LOVE..and SHOWING love.

There would be very few THINGS on that list.

I mean…it matters that I have a car…but THIS car? I need a home…but…I have lived in OTHER homes and have been just fine…I will probably live in a different home in a year or so..and I will sell this one….that’s ok….I am not that attached to THIS home.

If the house burned to the ground right now….what would matter (assuming I wasn’t in it, of course)….

There’s the obvious….photographs…what else? Ahhh my computer…lots of memorabilia on here…what else? Ahhhhh my wedding gown…yes…

That may be it.
Wow.
All of this stuff….all of this stuff that I am reluctant to do without….that I am unable to discard…WHY???

Because I might need it? Or…because it hold memories….yes…I hold onto a lot of things because they hold memories.

But do they really?

The wedding gown, for instance, is of course, a reminder of my wedding day…but…my mother MADE that gown….and it is quite a gown :)
and she is dead…..
But
Yeah..I LOVE the gown….and….it brings back images of her…memories…
But
If the gown goes….will I lose my memories?
Will I not be able to recall my mother? Or the gown?

My life is full of things…that I THINK matter….I spend far too much time DOING things that don’t really matter…and NOT doing things that DO MATTER!!!

No wonder my life just drifts along with no real purpose….I do not even know what matters to me…and if I don’t KNOW what matters to me…I am not DOING what matters to me…

And I wonder why….I do not feel satisfied.

If I am not satisfied with my life...with any aspect of it....I suppose I ought to identify what I would like it to be like.....

then

do the next thing.....to get it.