Tuesday, March 4, 2008

What can *I* do about it?

I remember a visit to my therapist…it was a few years back.

I was late for my appointment because I’d been gambling and couldn’t leave my machine.

I looked ‘frumpy’….I probably didn’t have make-up on…just brushed my teeth and hair..threw on some clothes and left…(I was in a hurry!)....didn’t really care much about how I looked in those days.

I can recall sitting in her office…my mood…my….life…I was just biding time…getting thru each day…I was so far from happiness….I was without hope.

She asked me “What can Peg do to help herself?”

I thought about it.

I was quiet for a while…thinking…what could I do? What could I do?

And then….I knew the answer.

Nothing.

There was nothing at all that I could do….

I was not ok..I was not GOING to be ok…and there was nothing at all that I could do.

It wasn’t true.

Maybe…I believed that there was nothing that I could do because I was wondering…’how can I fix my life?’ or even ‘How can I stop gambling?’

And no….I couldn’t do either of those things that day.

But there was SOMETHING that I could do.

There is always SOMETHING that we can do…to help ourselves.

I can read something uplifting.
I can call someone who lifts me.
I can find a support group..online or face to face.
I can do something that will make me FEEL better…I can take a hot bath.
I can polish my nails.
I can do something to make someone ELSE feel better…I can volunteer my time…to others less fortunate than myself….it doesn’t matter how bad things are for me right now..there is ALWAYS someone less fortunate.

I don’t have to fix my ‘life’…all I have to do…is do something for me RIGHT NOW….

Just this minute…that is all I need to concern myself with...whether I am gambling....no matter WHO I am or WHAT"S going on in my life..

I can do SOMETHING to make my life a little better.

I can.

YOU can.

DO.

Do ANYTHING....but

Do SOMETHING...

right now.

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