Making Improvements - Managing my life

I’ve been thinking….because of gambling my life had become unmanageable.

I’m not gambling any longer.

My life is manageable now…yet…I am still not managing it.

Well…I’m managing SOME things….and…the status of many things has improved simply because I’m no longer gambling….but SOME things….I just don’t do.

See…it wasn’t really possible for me to gamble the way that I was doing and keep all of the other aspects of my life in check. I neglected EVERYTHING else.

Then…when I stopped gambling…well…all of that ‘stuff’ is just too overwhelming…there is SO MUCH that needs to be done.

But that’s just one of the reasons I haven’t addressed them….

I have paperwork that’s long overdue.
Correspondence…mail and telephone…that I keep putting off.
All sorts of maintenance around the house…that I need to schedule then actually do…not to mention the closets that need to be addressed.

I put off things until they become a crisis…I just do not WANT to.

I’d much rather….do something else….or do nothing at all.

Slowly…I am beginning to take care of some of these things…..becoming responsible in the LITTLE things….in ALL things.

I have said over and over again…it is not about gambling.

I do NOT want to live a life full of drama and chaos.

I don’t have to any more.

Like everything else…it’s a process.

Slowly…..the unmanageable has become manageable…..and the manageable is beginning to actually be MANAGED.

Slowly.

I don’t have to fix everything today…I don’t have to get my whole life in order today…it is not possible, nor is it necessary….all I have to do today…is take small steps…just do small things that will contribute…to my having a better life.