Change Your Life

I read somewhere 'If you want to change your life, the first thing you have to do is change your life.'

Indeed.

How many times have I pondered things...WANTED things to be different...HOPED things would be different...yet did nothing?

Change is hard.

I've heard people say that all of my life...and I didn't really understand it...I mean...change is certainly DIFFERENT...but...I find many changes are exciting...not so hard.

I guess...what I THOUGHT it meant was...

ADJUSTING to change is hard.....

but now....NOW....I think that it means

AFFECTING change is what is difficult...

TAKING ACTION in order to make changes occur.

Hard...because of...fear??

Afraid of failure, afraid that things won't turn out as we'd planned, afraid of the 'work' that lies ahead...afraid of unforseen consequences of the changes we envision.

I guess if my life was all roses and sunshine...I'd have some justifiaction to fear change...maybe things would get worse?

and ya know....even now...things COULD get worse for me....

BUT

they are NOT going to get better UNLESS I MAKE CHANGES.

This is MY life.
No one is going to do this for me.
No one is going to 'fix' things.
Sure...people love me...and support me...but, ultimately,
this is MY responsibility....MY LIFE!

A friend asked me the other day..."what do you think your children will say about you when they are our age?"

wow.

the more I think about it
the more I realize
I can CHOOSE what they will say...

I have a ROLE in that...a BIG one...

What I HOPE that my children will say about me....many years from now...is something like "There was a time when my mom was pretty messed up....but that was so long ago...I almost don't remember.....because now, she.........."

But that will only come to pass if I make changes.

I'm better now.
I'm a LOT better now.

But I hope to always learn and change and grow.... one small thing at a time.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Carpe Ominous! (sieze everything)

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"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." -Abraham Lincoln