Thursday, December 13, 2007


There seems to be a lot of controversy amongst the different recovery methods over whether or not we are, indeed, powerless.

GA tells us that we are... here's how...

STEP ONE - We admitted we were powerless over gambling - that our lives had become unmanageable.

It doesn't say that I am powerless over my addiction.
It doesn't say that I am powerless to help myself.
It doesn't say that I am powerless over ANYTHING except GAMBLING. doubt in my mind....when I gamble....I am powerless.

I am powerless to leave...even when I have a pressing engagement.
I am powerless to walk out of the door with money...even if it is important to my (or my family's) welfare that I have that money.
I am powerless to STOP.
Once I start, I just can't freaking STOP!

The thing is.....once I started doing that over and over and over and over entire LIFE became a matter of fact...when I began attending g.a. in 2002..I was pretty much powerless over everything in my life.

My finances were in shambles.
My children (and husband) were neglected.
My house was a wreck.
I was always missing appointments...either because I couldn't leave a machine or because...I was just so messed up...I wasn't even AWARE of the fact that i HAD an appointment.
My moods were unpredictable...(and often explosive).
I had isolated myself from my friends and other loved ones...except for the people that I could borrow money from.....and...I only kept in touch with them when I needed money....nearly all of my relationships were strained.
I was irresponsible at my job.
I was full of anxiety...constantly.
I neglected my health.

Ya know...there wasn't ANYTHING that I didn't neglect when I was gambling.

Today...I have power over most aspects of my life...unfortunately I don't always USE that power to my full potential...but I have power, should I elect to impose it...(working on that).

But on April 15, 2002....I was powerless over gambling. I was powerless over my shaking hands and I was powerless over my tears. I was powerless over my entire life....and....while I have the power to choose to NOT gamble today.....should I decide to gamble....I will once again find myself...powerless.

There is no doubt in my mind.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know exactly what your saying, I've seen a few gambling addicts suffer and its a lot worse than most people who have not witnessed it would think. It's also a hard addiction to help someone with because of what it does to their emotional sate, as well as the people around them. Most people that might know someone with a gambling addiction (or any for that matter) and have not seen this persons struggle at its worst, should inform themselves on addictive behavior. This is why the A&E show Intervention is so important. It demonstrates how difficult addiction can be and uses a highly qualified team of specialists to address the core issues. The show really does a great job of showing what it takes to get on the road to recovery for some of the most difficult addictions and how it affects everyone involved. Check out for more on the show. I’m working to help support the show because I think addiction and recovery are very important topics and Americans need to be informed on them. A new episode airs on A&E every Monday night at 9:00 PM