Preventing Relapse

I found it helpful to identify the things that make me want to gamble...then....making a plan...to prevent myself from gambling the next time that instance occurred.....I had to develop new coping skills.

Some Common triggers that come to mind:

Having money
Not having money
(ha! That covers about every moment, does it not?...having money, meaning…having easy ACCESS to money…and not having money, insofar as, not having enough money to afford what one needs…or what one FEELS they need).
Certain time of day (lunch hour…or right after work)
Certain time of year (holidays)
People
Boredom
HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)
Anxiety
Isolation
Depression
Crises
Rejection
Failure
Abandonment
Grief
Stress
Arguments
Disappointment
Consuming alcohol or Ingesting drugs
anniversary of a painful event


I believe that knowledge DOES empower us.

I do know people who decided to walk away from gambling….and have not given in to urges…but most of us…*I*, for one…turned to my friend, my lover (gambling), my 'bubble', when I felt unable to cope in ‘normal’ ways.

On the occasions where I’ve done this…once I stopped gambling and could clearly look back at what had happened…what the ‘triggers’ were…and the circumstances that ALLOWED me to gamble…I’d find ways to eliminate the possibility in the future…I’d make a PLAN.

Once a ‘trigger’ has ‘activated’ my ‘addictive voice’…my mind and my heart begin racing…the first thing that I need to do….is acknowledge what’s happening…and SLOW DOWN…..breathe deep…and relax.

My ‘wise self’ always knows the answers…in the past, I just haven’t always listened to it…in recovery…I am making a conscience effort to hear it…and do what it says.

I have to remind myself that I am OK. Whatever this is…no matter how bad this is…gambling will not make it better…it will not…it can not…I don’t DESERVE to gamble (because of this pain/stress)…I deserve to NOT gamble…I deserve the joy that I will know….once I am able to relax…and slow down…and let this pass…without giving in….I have to comfort myself…reassure myself that this..whatever this is…no matter how bad it feels and how strong the urge is to gamble…these feelings are normal (fight or flight response) in all animals….it is what we DO with these feelings that is important….I can cope..I might feel like I cannot…but..this is going to pass….

Tomorrow is going to come…this feeling will pass….

Then..for me…reaching out was important…quickly getting in touch with others in recovery who could help to keep me grounded in reality.

Before I put this into practice…my own personal triggers almost always led to gambling.

But…for ME…there was something else that would sometimes occur.

Sometimes…it wasn’t a ‘sudden’ impulse…sometimes….it was a slow gradual ‘process’….where…my thinking would start gravitating towards gambling….sort of preparing for the ‘opportunity’....in other words…I was almost WAITING for the next stressful event…the next ‘excuse’ to go.
Acknowledging that process..prior to the stressful event was helpful to me also.

And…even if I have NO THOUGHTS at all about gambling…I STILL do things to protect myself.

For instance…in the past…if some ‘unexpected’ money would somehow fall into my hands….money that no one would know about…no one would miss….I could ‘take care’ of that money just fine.

So now that I know that that’s a weakness…I am quick to make a phone call….to tell my husband about any funds he is unaware…not like ‘Hey..I’m calling because I’m afraid I’ll gamble’ (which I am not)….I just call and say…like any ‘normal’ wife would say ‘Hey…guess what!...we just got a check in the mail’.

I call it ‘keeping me safe’…’protecting myself’....(commonly known as roadblocks).

It’s not always easy. It’s not….but it is do able.
And I am worth it.

So are you.

Related: Relapse Prevention Plan
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"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection." --Buddha

**********************************************************************Some sites that I used to develop my own relapse prevention plan--

Worksheets: Lifering.com Relapse Preventionhttp://www.unhooked.com/lifering.com/workbook/WorkbookRelapse.pdf

Worksheets: Lifering.com Recovery Plan for my Lifehttp://www.unhooked.com/lifering.com/workbook/workbookchapterfourteen.pdf

Worksheet: My List of Negative Gambling Consequences nrgs_worksheet_01.rtf

Worksheet: My List of Warning Signsnrgs_worksheet_02.rtf