Gratitude

One (really really bad) day, I had an appointment with my ‘addiction doctor’. I told him about my day…all that I was enduring…he kind of chuckled and said…I have a friend in recovery, who, when she has days like that says (with a very sarcastic tone) “oh GOODY…another f**king recovery opportunity!”

Honestly…if I compare my world today with April of 2002….

Life is good....and I sure do have plenty to be thankful for..
of course…there are always things that I could complain about….and THAT is the difference in me now…learning that…the difficulties in life are opportunities for growth….even…well…ESPECIALLY the really difficult…painful times…that…when I look BACK on them…I can see that …well I can see that..those experiences have benefited me in some way…they have promoted growth.

I know, I know…when I am going thru really difficult things…if someone were to say to me…’yes…but…you will grow from this’ I’d likely kick them in the knee…who needs to grow, right? And…even if I DO wish to grow…..it’s not worth this gut-wrenching, excrutiating pain….ok…so I’m not going to try to pretend that I could EVER go thru that sh*t, and embrace the pain…no way, not me….I fight it, kicking and screaming….

But

Later

Once I have a bit of relief

When I am not so raw

Sometimes it takes a while….but…eventually…I can see…that I am better for it

Often now…when I am experiencing pain…I can hold onto that…that there is a reason…that there is a lesson…and that I will get through it…and that I will grow.

But not always.

The thing about gratitude is….I can almost always find something to be grateful for….even little things…ESPECIALLY little things that I take for granted…I am clothed…I am fed…I have clean water to bathe and to cook with…I have a roof over my head…I have power…I have a job….I have air conditioning and heat in my home…I have a family…

Sometimes, some of those things do not feel like blessings - and there may be times that I don’t always have all of those things…but….no matter what I don’t have….I always…ALWAYS have something to be grateful for.

Being grateful…changes me.
*********************************************************************************

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.--Buddha