Fear

Defined: be afraid or feel anxious or apprehensive about a possible or probable situation or event

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."--- Frank Herbert, Dune - Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear

Face
Everything
And
Recover

or

F--k
Everything
And
Run

So much of what I do is out of fear...I had no idea...I didn't realize that until I began this 'recovery' of mine.

I fear so many things...but I'm working on identifying and addressing them.

I have been able to identify fears that I didn't know I had by working work-sheets provided for Step 4 of the Gamblers Anonymous Program....come to find out...many of our resentments are fear-based.

go figure.

I aim to rid myself of fear -- the definition 'a possible' -- means...it is yet to come..which means it isn't happening now...which means...it is not my concern at this moment...perhaps I can take STEPS to prevent an undesirable outcome...but...feeling fear -- can it possibly be productive?

I'm sure I will always have some fears...and some fears...maybe we NEED some fears.

But...I love G.A.
G.A. has given me many gifts.
But one thing that I see in MY particular GA groups is FEAR.

The program is not fear based.

What the Big Book of A.A. says about fear:

"Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. "

"we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble. We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. We asked ourselves why we had them. Wasn't i..."

"At once, we commence to outgrow fear. "

"The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment, jealousy, envy, frustration, and fear. "

these are only a few of the many places that 'fear' is referenced in the big book.


Funny how most of us don't read the literature..we listen to other people...and often, people get things wrong.

I refuse to live in fear of the next bet.
I am not worried that I will gamble today or tomorrow or next year or ever again.
I don't care.

I feel determined not to.
I don't plan to ever gamble again.
I think I will not.
but
all I really have is today.....and today...I am good...I am strong...and
I am unafraid.

xo