Sunday, December 30, 2007

I'm hurting now...what can I do?

When I'm hurting...I SAY that...but...all I really want is to stop hurting...I don't really want to DO anything...

There ARE things that we can do.... here's one...

Gamblers Anonymous offers the following questions to anyone who may have a gambling problem. These questions are provided to help the individual decide if he or she is a compulsive gambler and wants to stop gambling.


1. Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling?
2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?
3. Did gambling affect your reputation?
4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?
5. Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties?
6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?
7. After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses?
8. After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more?
9. Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone?
10. Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?
11. Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling?
12. Were you reluctant to use "gambling money" for normal expenditures?
13. Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family?
14. Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned?
15. Have you ever gambled to escape worry, trouble, boredom or loneliness?
16. Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling?
17. Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
18. Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?
19. Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?
20. Have you ever considered self destruction or suicide as a result of your gambling?

Most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least seven of these questions.

The G.A. Step One worksheet tells us that…if we have trouble admitting our powerlessness, then answer the 20 questions, in writing…not a simple yes or no answer…but a thorough, honest answer….citing specific occasions that come to mind...detail what happened at work, at school, arguments that you can recall...*all* that you can recall.

I have found that…in doing this myself…my answers are much more powerful when written while I’m still in pain..or shortly thereafter.

Not only can this be used to CLEARLY see what gambling has done to us…to our lives…but it can also be a good tool (roadblock) when one is having urges…when that voice starts saying ‘Maybe it wasn’t really that bad’ or ‘Maybe I’ve exaggerated everything’ or even ‘I’m better now…and this time I’ll be able to stop/control it.’

Most of us…when we are in pain…and are told to ‘write’…to write what we feel or what we’ve done or what we’ve just experienced…say ‘yes, that’s a great idea’ then we don’t do it.

There are many things…SIMPLE things..that we can do to help ourselves…if we’d just LISTEN…and be WILLING (to do whatever it takes to help ourselves) and DO IT.

There’s a lot at stake here.
EVERYTHING is at stake here (for me).
No one else can fix this for me…no one else can fix ME…
*I* have to do the work…and first…I have to discover what the work is.

Having something…PROOF…of the TRUTH..when that ‘addictive voice’ starts talking may be of help.

That ‘addictive voice’ does not want us to do these things..that part of us does not want us to protect ourselves…that part of us wants us to gamble again…someday…it is patient.

When it starts speaking…we can use all the help we can get.


One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation. --Arthur Ashe

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