I remember

I remember....

I always 'settled in' at a machine....I found a machine I liked (or played one I didn't care for..waiting for 'my' machine to come available)...I didn't bounce around too much.

Some gamblers don't hide where they are from their families...and I didn't always....my husband knew I gambled...he just didn't know I did it every DAY and for hours upon hours...and how much money I was blowing :(

but some gamblers...if their spouse calls and says...'when are you coming home?' or 'come home now' they don't. they can't leave, even tho they must.

I didn't do that....it was too important for me to keep the secret (well....blowing the secret would mean it would all come crashing down...and I would never be 'allowed' to play again!)...sooooooo
there was always SOME sort of deadline...it might be 12 hours..but there was a deadline.

I didn't usually PLAN to spend my whole day gambling...I would say to myself...I will just spend x amount of money...or I will stay for x amount of time.

when x had passed...i would set a new limit....or say...when i hit my next jackpot I will go...when i did....i would say...well...not THIS jackpot!...just 20 more minutes blah blah blah

I couldn't stop.

This was my 'normal' for so long.

I didn't just spend my money there...I spent my life.