How Big is it?

Many common ‘traits’ of compulsive gamblers (or addicts, in general) are well documented…some of them, though…I’m only aware of because of my contact with so many.

Blowing things out of proportion.

Getting into an argument…and not letting it ‘go’…long after the other person has ‘moved on’ many of us tend to ‘stew’ over the event.

Being late, a conflict or sudden change in plans, anything unexpected or undesirable can easily become a CRISIS for me.

Some things ARE big…and…when they are big, and deserve the energy that I am giving it…fine…be angry…cry…whatever..but so so so often..the things that I freak out about are not worthy.

In this too…in being upset…I have to learn balance…I mean…it’s ok to get upset, to get angry…it’s ok..but sometimes..I do those things WAY out of proportion to the situation…so I am learning to ask myself…

HOW BIG IS IT?

Is this thing so big that…I will still be upset about it next week?
How about next month..or next year?

Is this so bad that this date will be forever etched in my mind (like the death of a loved one?)….is this so bad that…next year on this date I will say…ohhhhhh….this was such a miserable day for me last year?

Is this something that I will be able to look back upon…and not cry?

If I am freaking out because I am stuck in traffic…or over some disagreement with a co-worker…or because my kid’s bedroom is a wreck AGAIN…I am probably investing too much feeling into the incident…

I have a friend in recovery…who says “Is someone dead? Is there blood on the floor? Are the police there?....if not…can’t be that bad.”

I like that. :)

When I feel this way..when I get upset....

What is different..does it ‘help’?...does it ‘fix’ anything?

If I get upset…or if I learn to sigh and just get thru it…or even chuckle about the way that I ‘used to’ (not) deal with situations like this….

If I freak out, or if a am ok with it….what is different?

The only thing that is different is the way *I* FEEL.

If I am stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire…and I remain calm until help arrives…or if I allow myself to get all worked up about it…what is different? Can the way that I *FEEL* change it?

It can’t.

The only things that my feelings can do…is alter my mood.

So….serenity prayer time…

Can I change it?
If I can…DO IT…MAKE THE CHANGE…
If not….then…give it the amount of energy that it is due…cry if it is warranted…scream if it is justified..but…if it’s not worth it…realize that…and…smile…because I am learning…and I am growing.

*Related post: Relax

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The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance. ~ Nathaniel Branden